
WASHINGTON D.C. - The people of Michigan would like to send a collective thanks (read: go fuck yourself) to Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) who effectively killed the automaker bailout bill this week. It looks like Chapter 11 is looming large over eastern Michigan.
G.M. confirmed that it had legal advisors -- including Harvey R. Miller of the firm Weil Gotshal & Manges -- to consider a possible bankruptcy, which the company until now has said would be cataclysmic not just for G.M. but for Chrysler and Ford as well. The rescue plan approved by the House on Wednesday by a vote of 237 to 170 would have extended $14 billion in loans to the troubled automakers and required them to submit to broad government oversight directed by a car czar to be named by [President] Bush.
It's not that I think that these bailouts are a good thing. I really don't. A bailout with oversight, however, is certainly a better thing than watching a major American industry get buried six feet under. One has to consider that the feds were chomping at the bit to pass a $700 Billion bailout for the corrupt financial institutions of Wall Street in New York not two months ago. Now, as Detroit looks forward to cataclysmic failure, there appears to be nothing our friends in Washington can do for us.
So it goes.
MOSCOW, Russian Federation - A Russian entrepreneur, Oleg Teterin, has trademarked the "wink" emoticon with the federal patent agency in Russia.
"I want to highlight that this is only directed at corporations, companies that are trying to make a profit without the permission of the trademark holder," he said in comments to NTV.Companies will be sent legal warnings if they use the symbol without his permission, he said.
"Legal use will be possible after buying an annual license from us," he was quoted by Kommersant as saying. "It won't cost that much - tens of thousands of dollars."
He also said since other similar emoticons - :-) or ;) or :) - resemble the one he has trademarked, use of those symbols could also fall under his ownership.
Other Russian Internet entrepreneurs reacted to the effort predictably - >:(
"Imagine the next wise-guy who trademarks the 33 letters of the Russian alphabet and then says anyone who uses the Russian alphabet has to send him money. It's absurd," Alexander Manis, the director of a broadband internet and mobile company, told NTV.
Oleg Teterin, proving to the world that Russian businessmen can be just as nauseatingly prickish as any other businessmen.
ANDERSON, Calif. - Finger lickin' gross.
Three female KFC employees have been axed by the Colonel for bathing in the sink of the restaurant in Anderson. Predictably, news outlets around the world have had some fun with this. Here are a few of the headlines:
-The Cleveland Ledger
Finger Lickin' Frolics
-The Daily Telegraph (Sydney, Australia)

Myspace, Panties and Bras = Fired
-The Post Chronicle
Three KFC Employees in Hot Water After Dip in Restaurant's Sink
-Redding Record-Searchlight (Calif.)
Yuk.
Finally, there has been more "controversy" surrounding Jennifer Aniston's most recent foray into quasi-nakedness on the cover of this month's GQ magazine.

Several years ago, the same Jennifer Aniston appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine sans vĂȘtements.

(That one actually is pretty hot)
The only people who are concerned about this are media outlets trying to stir up controversy, and people who voted for John McCain. Neither group really matters much in the scheme of things.
Be thankful, though. Readers of a certain age group will recall the following and be relieved that the former doesn't, in any way, resemble John Lennon.

Srsly.
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