"Rod Blagojevich was the first Democrat to be elected governor of Illinois in 30 years, a distinction he proceeded to totally crap all over by continually failing to pass legislation and budgets, making many political enemies (even in his own party), committing federal and state crimes, wearing a ridiculous side-part in some seriously bouffant hair, and, in October 2008, earning the title “America’s Least Popular Governor.” All that before he got arrested."
-Dickipedia
CHICAGO, Ill. - Arguably the biggest blue dick in politics has defied virtually everyone by naming a replacement for Barack Obama in the United States Senate. Illinois governor Rod "Rod" Blagojevich, who was arrested earlier this month for conspiring to sell President-Elect Obama's recently vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder, has named
After being released on bond, the governor returned to business as usual, refusing to resign his position as governor despite pressure from the entire U.S. Senate, virtually every politician at every level in the state of Illinois, President-Elect Obama himself, and roughly 12,500,000 people who happen to live in Illinois proper, 1.8 million of whom, for some unfathomable reason, voted for this incredible douchebag. Senate majority leader Harry Reid has stated that the Democratic Caucus will not seat anyone who is appointed by Mr. Blagojevich. He reiterated this sentiment in a statement released today shortly after the governor's announcement.
President-Elect Obama who is vacationing in his native Hawaii this week has not commented personally on the appointment as of this writing.
GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip, Palestinian Territories - Israel and the Hamas led government of the Palestinian National Authority are engaged in a bloody conflict near the border between Israel and the Gaza Strip. In other news, water is wet.
PALMER, Alaska - MSNBC is reporting that Bristol Palin, daughter of failed vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and her baby-daddy have been offered $300,000 for first dibs on pictures of their newborn son, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston.
That this is possible has led this editorialist to consider travel to the aforementioned Gaza Strip, stepping into the lobby of a Hamas government building and placing a colorful yarmulka on my head. My guess is that I'll last around 14 seconds before being reunited with my dead relatives - a comforting alternative to a world where
Who says underage pre-marital intercourse sans wood-hood isn't a rewarding experience?
Flesh Fedora sez:
"For 300G, leave the package-protector at home!"
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